Back in 2008 I ended up weighing 177 lbs at 5'6". I was always very insecure with my weight and I went down to 118 lbs but ended up going back to 134 (since 118 just didn't suit me). I currently am maintaining this weight since I don't ever want to be overweight again for both health and social reasons. I was always so insecure during high school and early into my 20's that I didn't do many sports or was very "social" because of this ... but I've noticed that when it comes to dating ... it has ONLY become worse. Let me elaborate.
I'm 24 years old, studying to get my degree in both psychology and social work and I'm very well read. I would like to believe that I'm an exceptional listener above all and can hold an interesting conversation. Even though I have gained more self confidence, I have to admit that I'm somewhat insecure. Yet, despite this ... my dating life is a DISASTER.
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20 because I was so insecure and quite and I in fact, met him online and he traveled to see me from the Netherlands several times a year for the next year and a half. In the end, we got engaged and broke up for various reasons. Then when I was about 22, I dated another guy (for 8 months) who treated me equally nice and like a princess and he too talked about marriage and how he wanted me to be the mother of his children, etc. Anyway, my point is that I NEVER slept with these two guys and despite this, they treated me INCREDIBLE and now I regret having lost both of them because of my immature thinking of wanting to explore life and see what was out there.
For a few months after the breakup, I compulsively dated many guys ... from Christian guys, tattooed guys, to soldiers, etc and I never really got along with ANY of them.
Then on Dec. 31, 2008, I was introduced to this guy whom I fell deeply in love with. It didn't matter that his daughter was his number one priority, I was understanding and we dated for 10 months and then I lost my virginity to him in October 2009. Soon after he left me and I was devastated. He never truly made m feel great, but I thought that maybe I had sex with him things would change ....
Ironically on Dec. 31, 2009, I was introduced to another guy through another mutual friend. We began seeing each other and we clicked. He was charming, attentive, sweet, and always gave me compliments. He invited me on a limo ride for his birthday (17 days after meeting him) and we got caught up in the moment and had sex. I had never imagined I would have sex so soon after losing my virginity to another guy just month prior and especially so soon after meeting him. He acted great for three weeks and this weekend he has completely ignored me.
I don't comprehend, why would guys dislike me now more than I was overweight?! Why has this new guy I've been seeing completely ignored me? I have a feeling that this has fizzled out, so I'm wondering, whenever I start dating someone else in the future (in the very distant future at that) should I just not have sex until I'm married? Or what is turning off these guys (aside from sex) than when I was overweight?
Picture of me overweight:
http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s275/lostlittlegirl85/Me%202008/Picture486.jpg
Picture of me now at my current weight:
http://i814.photobucket.com/albums/zz68/exoticcinnamon/Scooters%20Disco%20Party/546_3879.jpg
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Tags : Christian, guy, guys, life, like, more, overweight, sex, Than, the Netherlands, Weight
